Sunday, April 23, 2017
On our way to Austin, Tx. Smarter Artists Summit here we come.
Monday, April 17, 2017
TIme for a Short Story. "Bunny? What Bunny?"
By
TS Paul
“There was a giant bunny out in the yard last night!” Fergus trotted across the kitchen table.
Both Grandmother and I froze at his words. “Uh, what?”
“Bunny. You know. Fuzzy, long ears, hops around a lot, eats grass and flowers? The garden has lots of them hopping around.” Fergus sniffed at the jar of jelly sitting in front of me.
“I know what a bunny is! What do you mean by giant?” I looked toward the ceiling and rolled my eyes.
“He was much bigger than the regular ones. Bigger than Zeus even.” He trotted toward the bowl of strawberries next to Grandmother. She lifted it up out of reach. Fergus stared up at her for a moment and changed direction.
“Stop trying to eat everything. Finish the story about the bunny.”
Fergus stopped in front of the plate of waffles but didn’t try to eat one. “Fine. I was up last night in the kitchen…” He paused and looked right then left. “It was just a snack. I promise!”
Grandmother broke in. “Is that what happened to Minerva’s fresh Apple pie? That was supposed to be for lunch today you little pest.”
He looked over at her and seemed to shrug. “I like apples. So I looked out the window and there he was. Hopping across the lawn. It was carrying some sort of basket thingy in his mouth. I only continued to watch because it came up the stairs and hopped in front of the window. Did you zap a rabbit? Because that spell might help me get bigger.”
Fergus’s look was one of accusation. He claimed he liked being small sometimes, but the dream was still there to be bigger.
“Just you the squirrels and the jackalopes. I would tell you if I zapped another animal. Are you telling me you saw the Easter bunny last night?”
“Easter bunny? What’s that?” He trotted over and snagged a stray crumb of waffle.
I sighed. “Grandmother?” She was so much better at explanations of this kind than I was.
She glanced at me and shook her head. “Fergus there are several religions as well as folklore associated with the holiday.” Grandmother gave him the highlights.
“So people worship this guy? Is he a zombie like on TV?”
“He’s not a zombie.” Grandmother threw up her hands. She muttered something about crazy unicorns.
“Why would a bunny lay eggs? Does it make a nest like birds? Flying giant rabbits would be cool. I’d like to fly.” Fergus jumped in the air a couple of times.
“It’s an allegory. Children like it.”
“One of those big lizard things? You said it was a rabbit.”
Unicorns. “Those are Alligators. Allegories are something else. So what did you really see outside?” I looked at him.
“Giant rabbit. I told you.” He sniffed at my plate. “You going to eat that?”
“Fergus the Easter bunny doesn’t exist. It’s just something they tell kids.” I pushed my plate toward him. He hopped up and nibbled on a waffle.
“If you say so.”
I glanced at Grandmother and she shook her head slightly. “Fergus, you do know the difference between fantasy and reality right?”
“Of course I do. Fantasy is those guys on TV that are always waving and riding around in big cars Reality is the giant rabbit I saw last night.” He continued to eat the waffle.
“Guys on TV? What guys on TV?” I looked down at my plate. He was now standing in the middle of a pool of maple syrup. I made a mental note to clean his sticky feet off before he tracked it across the house.
“You know. They work in that big white building you took me to once. It had a big statue outside.” Big white building. I tried to think of the places we had gone together.
“Politicians? You’re saying that politician aren’t real?” The big building was the Capital.
“Sure. You told me that TV wasn’t real. Remember?” I glanced at Grandmother and she was holding her hand across her mouth trying to laugh.
I was at a complete loss for words. Grandmother started to laugh. “Go ahead. Tell him about politicians. I want to hear what you say to him.” She was giggling now.
Trying to think of an explanation I jumped when Minerva said something. “What’s up with you?”
Grandmother was laughing even harder and Fergus had maple syrup dripping down his long face. I grabbed my chest. My heart slowed down again now that I realized it was her.
“We were explaining the differences of shows on TV to real life.”
“How’s that working out for you? He’s not the sharpest tack in the box.” Minerva set a large decorative basket on the table.
Pointing at the basket I said. “I was just about to tell him. What’s that?”
“Easter basket. I found it out on the porch. The eggs look like they’re ostrich. I haven’t had one of those in a while. Who wants a big ass omelet?” She grabbed the basket and stepped over to the stove.
“See! I told you I saw a big bunny.” Fergus hopped off the plate leaving a trail of sticky hoof-prints.
Friday, April 14, 2017
Thursday, April 13, 2017
Wednesday, April 12, 2017
Sunday, April 9, 2017
Snippet Time! Check out Snippet #07 from Witness Enchantment
“We need a new car.” I replied as I stepped out of the car.
“Looking to trade or just get a second vehicle? We have some nice ones that can be used for work or play. What does your husband think? Is this for you?” He peered into my SUV trying to see Marvin.
“Pretend you don’t see him. He’s not the one buying the car. That would be me. What do you have that’s fast and easy to drive?”
The salesman continued around the car and stepped over to the passengers side. He totally ignored me and my wishes. “Sir, we have the best used cars in the tri-state area. If you look to your right you can see we even have one of the new family trucksters. Not the most aerodynamic with those tail fins but it does do the job of carrying the family around and still look sharp to the eyes. If you know what I mean. Or if you are a discerning gentleman I have…” He never got to finish that sentence. I zapped him with a freeze spell.
Leaning down I called through the window. “Marvin I need your help, please.”
“Did you just hurt that man? Why was he talking to me?” Marvin, still looking rumpled and confused got out of the car and poked the salesman. “Is he dead?”
“I just froze him. He’s still alive. He wanted to sell you a car, not me. Salesmen like him always talk to the man never the woman at places like this. They assume that the women don’t know what they want. Grab his arm. When I unfreeze him he might fall down.” I dropped the spell.
The salesman dropped to the ground taking Marvin with him. “Marvin I said hold him not hold on to him.”
I let my witness get up on his own. My arm was starting to throb much more painfully. I would have to try a healing trance later to see if I could fix some of the damage. Time to try a different tack with the salesman. Concentrating for a moment I cast my spell.
“What is your name?”
The man on the ground replied. “Wilson Theai.”
“Wilson, can you stand up and talk to me?” I tried to keep my voice even and toneless. That was the key to this sort of mesmerizing spell.
“Yes.” He stood up.
“Wilson do you have the keys to these cars around us?” I waved at the cars.
“Of course.”
“Are they fueled and ready to go?” Gas would be an issue.
“Yes. We like to say that a car un-driven is a car un-payed for.” Wilson’s eyes were bloodshot and his face slack. That was one of the symptoms of this sort of spell.
I looked around and spotted a nice looking family car that would work now. A station wagon wasn’t a good get-away car but we weren’t criminals. “Can you get the keys for that green one over there?”
Zombie-like Wilson turned toward the car I pointed at. “Yes.” Stumbling he walked toward the office.
“What’s wrong with him?” Marvin watched the Wilson bounce off a couple of cars before climbing the steps into the elevated office.
“It’s the spell I cast on him. Free will enhancers make the subconscious fight the conscious part of your brain. The result is that. He’ll be OK when we leave. I promise.”
Wilson returned with a set of keys in his hand. We couldn’t take the chance on filling out the paperwork so hopefully I didn’t get stopped. “The keys.”
“Thank you, Wilson. Now here are the keys to my SUV. You will place it at the back of your lot and forget how and why it got there. Do you understand?” I took his keys and handed Wilson my keys.
“Yes. Move car. Forget why.”
“Good. Marvin go grab our bags out of the car and put them in the green station wagon. Don’t forget to grab Fergus too.” Must not forget the little pain in my ass.
“Now. If the police or other people come looking for someone that matches my description you will tell them you haven’t seen anyone. We are not the people you are looking for. Do you understand?”
“Yes.” Wilson stood stock still waiting for yet another order. This was why these sorts of spells weren’t approved of my the Witches Council. Mind control left too many scars.
I opened the car door of the SUV and poked around. Fingerprints were almost impossible to remove with Magick but hair and blood, specifically my blood could be. A small cantrip and all my physical trace was gone in a wisp of smoke. Let them find unicorn hair and wonder how? I popped open the glove compartment grabbed the original rental paperwork and pocketed it.
“Wilson, I want you to count to a hundred and fifty very slowly. When you are done you will move the SUV to the back of the lot and return to selling cars. We were never here. Do you understand?”
“Yes. Never here. One. Two. Three…” He stood still and continued to count.
I let out my saved breath. One less thing to worry about. The keys fit the car so we drove right off the lot. First stop gas station. It might have gas in it but not enough to drive to Upper New York state. I have a rental house in a nice quiet small town to go to. No one should be able to find us there.
Wilson finished counting and moved the car as ordered. The very moment he stepped out of it and pocketed the keys was when he woke up. “Why am I back here? If I don’t make my quota Athena will kill me!” Straightening his cowboy hat he ran for the front of the lot. His boss had a bit of a temper.
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